Living Through Loss

Summer is Here

It's hard to imagine for me that it has been 16 years since Chad has left this earth's plane.  Thoughts seem to run endlessly amiss during the summer.  I often think about why this happens to me in the summer?  Then I realize...well, May holds Mother's day...it's Father's day and my birthday in June...then other family birthdays in July... August holds Larry's birthday, the same day Chad died, and then Chad's birthday...so I say to myself DAH, no wonder summers are touch and go.  

Oh yeah, you also have people who say, shouldn't you be over this by now, after all it's been 16 years!  The honest answer is NO...this is something you walk with the rest of your life, not something you get over.  You can't easily forget that which you bore, and if you can I really don't want to know you.  It is the pain that seems to strengthen and deepen my walk here on this earth.  Pain is a wonderful teacher when you think about it.  I have a new compassion, a new determination, a new insight, and a new "normal" since Chad's passing.  I have a cross that I choose to take up daily and offer myself back to service.  The classes I teach and the work I do now is totally different than anything I would be doing if Chad were physically still here.  Why?  Because the insights from the pain I experience causes me to make other choices that were not even in my focus before.

So therein lies the dichotomy...the gift Chad left me...YOU!  Thank you for being in my life.  May you enjoy all the gifts that summer brings!  Blessings







Posted by Glenda at 6/18/2010 11:08 AM | Add Comment

My Brother Crosses Over

As it is with all things...there is a time and a season and the sun keeps shinning.  Time seems to care less, it just keeps on ticking and the world keeps on moving, even though I feel it should stop.

My favorite (only) brother passed away this week after his courageous fight with cancer.  He is the one I shared so much with growing up as I was such a tom boy and my sister was married when I was 7.  Tom had a heart of gold and loved to help people with their projects...now he is helping me from the other side.

Today, after all the internal battles and struggles that we attend to after the death of a loved one, I learned some things that I hope I won't forget...and if I should, I will have record by this accounting here

First and foremost "ALL relationships are to show us our work."  That's it in a nutshell, amazing huh.  If you get that, then the drama's cease for you.  It helps you to no longer wish to control the situation or person; it helps you see it with love and peace, instead of whatever is not peace and love.  When you can do nothing, because there is nothing to be done, then that is the time to say "I can see peace instead of this!" 

I can choose to meet people where they are, instead of where I wish they would be! 

 My friend Terri helped me come up with these answers today, I am thankful that we had the opportunity to chat a bit about "life".  Blessings to all~

Posted by Glenda at 3/9/2010 1:19 PM | View Comments (1) | Add Comment

Where has the time gone?

Now really...where has the time gone?  When I logged onto this blog it said it's been 222 days since I last wrote anything!  Are you kidding me?  I must say the year has flown by and it's not just because I'm getting older (something my friends love to remind me).

Alas, when we are talking about the passing of our loved ones...some days drag and some days seem to fly by.  I can't believe it's been 16 years since Chad was killed in London...it feels like yesterday then other days not.  With the holidays gone and a New Year ahead, the plans are being laid for the next Chad Pearson Scholarship Dinner Dance and Silent Auction.  We will be holding it on February 13th this year.    There's always something fun to do like shopping, eating and dancing of course!  We've raised over $100,000.00 for IUSB and $20,000.00 for Mishawaka High School.  This year is going to help another student achieve their dream of going to college...education makes better communities and that's a win win for everyone.  It has been a real blessing to see the way our community, friends, and families have supported this cause.

I've been busy this year selling books, learning "facebook" and teaching Fresh Start seminars, as well as teaching the Grief Recovery classes.  I firmly believe that there is not a person alive and over the age of 16 that doesn't need to attend these classes.  If your feet are on the earth, and you are breathing you NEED  this information.  Our society tries so hard to dismiss feelings, but I'm certain burying them is NOT the answer.  Many people tell me, how personally empowered they feel after taking the classes, and coming to the seminars.  I hope you sign up, join me and experience the freedom this knowledge will give you.  Commit yourself to live fully the life you've been gifted.

As always, I wish you many blessings and hope to hear from you soon~

Posted by Glenda at 1/6/2010 1:08 AM | Add Comment

Life and Death

 
 
I received a book signing request today from someone who bought one of my books for her friend.  I have always felt honored to be asked to do such a thing, so naturally I said of course, just bring it by.  Then I was left with the task of "gosh what should I say?"  Each case is so different, but each case is always surrounded by mourning and grief.
 
I was told that a priest told the grieving couple that their son who committed suicide would not be in heaven.  This nearly broke my heart...I think it saddened God's heart too.  The things we do to each other "in the name of God" is unthinkable at times.  I think God must sit on his throne and scratch his head in amazement of how little we know him, but how much we think we do.  He is so much bigger than our domination labels, than our dogmas, than our idols and alters we build in "his name". 
 
The only thing I find that God asks of me is to love unconditionally as He does.  If I could continually do that with God, then myself, I think I'd find the "love others" part easy.  Two things he asks:  Love God with all your heart...Love others as you love Yourself.  If I don't love me this whole formula is out of whack.  So simple, yet so profound.  Go ahead and try it...I dare ya. 
 
This is what I was led to write in her book...

Your world has been turned upside down, through "no fault" of your own, and there seems to be no hope of normal ever again.  You are right...your normal has changed...your world has changed.  14 years down this path of grief, I now can say the choice is ours...it's up to us to find the tools that society doesn't teach in dealing with such a loss...when you find the tools that are right for you...you will find a new and different balance...a point of rest...until then my friend, I pray that you will live a life worthy of his memory, as you would have asked of  him had you left first...
 Many Blessings... Glenda... Psalms 139

Posted by Glenda at 5/29/2009 4:30 PM | Add Comment

High Hopes

I recieved this letter today in my e mail and it made me stop and think ..Humm...Debbie Ford has a point here and one worth paying forward...so I pass part of this along to you in hopes of it spurring you into forward movement~ Many Blessings Glenda


I started thinking that if today were going to be the best day of my year, how would I have to feel? I would have to be completely grateful for everything as it is. I'd have to give up wanting anything to change about the past or the future. I'd have to give up any wants or needs that couldn't be satisfied today. I'd have to give up any hopes for anything to be different. I'd have to appreciate the toes on my feet that keep me upright, the parts of my body that are functioning perfectly, my ability to see, smell, and hear the voices of those I love. I'd have to have my heart wide open to the love that exists for everyone and everything. I'd have to have deep appreciation for the challenges I've endured, the limitations I've met, and the breakthroughs I've experienced. Most importantly, I'd have to remember that the best day of the year is made up not of one special event but of hundreds of special moments and I can choose each moment to have it be an incredible day.

So I ask you to join me today, December 4th, an ordinary day for most people. What would you have to do to find some love in your heart? Who could you think about that would bring a smile to your face? What memories could you bring into your awareness? What photos could you look at to remind you how good life can be? Who could you call to share love with? Who could you appreciate? What affirmation could you give yourself or pass on to another?

Just for the next 12 hours, make this a spectacular day by looking for what's right, what's working, what's magical, what's holy, and what's possible!

 

Posted by Glenda at 12/4/2008 3:47 PM | Add Comment

What are you thinking?

What do you think?  We all think...it's what we were created to do.

So what is it, what do you think is the reason that you have decided not to expand not to be the you that you were created to be?  Why have you decided not to be in the ebb and flow of the consciousness of you in your Creator?  What is the void that you are feeling and what are you trying to fill that void with?  (S.T.E.R.B.S.)

Why are you on this earth...for you to understand love and for you to understand God in you...For you to expand in the universe and understand who you are?  Shouldn't our thoughts match our behaviors and vise a versa? Let us not allow our beliefs to be the destroyer of our dreams.  Let's give the gift of "patience to learn" to ourselves.  Change is one of the only constants in the universe...expect change...embrace it.

Responsibility in our choices...gratefulness that we have choices...hum...So what are you thinking these days...what things are showing up in your life (proof of what you've been thinking)...what is it that you are focusing on...what are you storing up for yourself...what things do you want to change in your thoughts?  Be courageous.

Let's make a bank account and deposit positive thoughts...thoughts of win/win...thoughts that build all up,  thoughts that move us forward and closer to our maker.  Thoughts that you are worth being here...each day we are trading one day of our life...for what...trade it for something that brings unconditional love to you...something that excites you to expand in your thoughts and love.  Your maker holds the keys of unconditional love which brings the peace to your life that you desire. Rest in those loving thoughts, of others and of yourself.

I hope to see you in my seminar or classes soon.  Blessings

Posted by Glenda at 11/20/2008 1:08 PM | Add Comment

Thanksgiving is here...

 
 
Well it's Thanksgiving time once again...I've gone through 14 of them without my Chad.  Today when I woke up there was snow all around, I remember the times we'd go outside and make snow angels together.  It brings a smile to my face and a punch to my heart.  Then I start thinking of all the good things that happened with Chad and since he's been gone.  (Yes, I never thought I'd say that!)
 
Chad was such a thankful child...my sister bought him a sweater for Christmas for 10 years straight and Chad never once was disappointed...He always was thankful that his Aunt Donna thought of him and gave her the biggest hugs for her gifts.  Chad always understood that the relationship with people was the gift, not the item.  So that is my focus this year...a gift from my son on the other side...to remember the "relationships" that I am fortunate to have in my life and cherish them.  It is the season to be "thankful" so they say. 
 
I say let's daily remember the things that are really important...and you are one of those things.  Thanks for being you, you truly do make this world a better place to be in because you are walking your talk every day.  Keep up the good work...it takes a huge amount of courage to heal...don't give up...the work is worth it.  See you in class!  Love to all!~
 

Posted by Glenda at 11/17/2008 12:53 PM | Add Comment

Life's little wonders

 
Well today was just one of those funny little days.  You ask whatever do you mean Glenda?  Let me explain.  For the past few days (I dare not tell you how many) I've been having a fight with a chipmunk in our back yard. 
 
Everyone who knows my husband knows how fussy he is with his yard.  Being a good shepherd of his lawn, I saw a hole...it was deep and about the size of a chipmunk so I covered it up and patted it down all nice so hubby wouldn't be concerned.  Well, the next morning I got up, and there it was all opened up again with the dirt laying around the hole.  It was as if the little creature said there take that.  Then I thought humm, I will put Cocoa's (poodle) little deposits in there and cover them up, surely the creature will not return. 
 
Next day same thing...everything was outside the hole.  It was like I was involved in the Groundhog movie with Chevy Chase!  This whole procedure went on for several days when Larry finally said, Glenda why are you covering this hole up all the time?  I was shocked he noticed, and said well because this little creature keeps digging a hole in the yard, and I've been packing it with stuff, but he keeps pushing it all out....I've even let the hose run in it to try and flush him out. 
 
By that time Larry (hubby) was in stitches...he said for heaven sakes Glenda it's a sprinkler head!!!  All this time I've been fighting with a sprinkler head?  Too funny.  I still don't understand why that hole is so deep that you couldn't see the sprinkler...but never the less my battle with the unseen creature was finally over!
 
How many times in life do we think it's one thing, and find out that really, it is something totally different.  Grief is like that.  You think you have a handle on it, and then bingo-someone or something pushes the nicely patted down hole open again.  Rest assured that these things are normal (if there is such a thing) and will one day make sense even if they don't right now.  Be kind to yourself as grief is very demanding.  It requires constant attention for a season, then it will require some attention and so on.  Do try to attend my series of classes...they are different than anything I've ever been to, and believe me, I've searched them all trying to fill the hole in my heart.  Many Blessings

Posted by Glenda at 9/23/2008 4:42 PM | Add Comment

Trust

 
 Thought I'd write a poem today...hope you enjoy it...Glenda
 
 
Trust is the issue Yes in deed
Trust is all that you'll ever need
Trust is where it all begins and
Trust is where it will all end
 
Trust is a small word that packs a punch
Trust is needed in all you create
Trust is the one who stands at the gate
Trust is believing in spirit, not hate
 
When you trust, you empower yourself
To move beyond the limits of self
Trust is the believing in that you can't see
Trust is your friend and moves you close to me
 
Trust and belief go hand in hand
Trust never fails you if you fall in its hands
Trust is exciting and adventure it brings
To a heart that is saddened or riddled in pain
 
Allow yourself to trust in me
Watch how you grow and become all you can be
Together we have made a plan
To Trust and Love and be a light unto man.


 
 

Posted by Glenda at 9/23/2008 4:39 PM | Add Comment

What cha think of this one I found?

August 11, 2008
Growing Pains
Difficult Times

It can be very challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith when you are in the midst of difficult times. This is partly because we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of positive circumstances. However, we are like children, and the universe is our wise mother who knows what our souls need to thrive better than we do. Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace.

This period of time in history is full of difficulty for a lot of human beings, and you may feel less alone knowing you are not being singled out. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the growing process and the growing pains. It helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that this difficult time will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass.

At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it’s never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty. Gently and compassionately exploring the areas giving you the most trouble may reveal things you are holding onto and need to release: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or reality. As you take responsibility for the things you can change, you can more easily surrender to the things you can’t, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another.

Call 1-877-2-DAILYOM (1-877-232-4596) to listen to DailyOM messages on your phone for free.

Posted by Glenda at 8/14/2008 4:16 PM | Add Comment
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